first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Randomize
