I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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