And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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