we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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