I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
