I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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