sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
