I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
