she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
