Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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