i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
birth control should be required to get into college
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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