I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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