I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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