Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
