You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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