Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
