and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
