its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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