you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
