hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
