we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
