I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
