is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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