why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
