I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
