Where is the hickey?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize