Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
