it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
