i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
