tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
