No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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