I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
