Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
