I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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