If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
