Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize