Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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