She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
