Don't you send me to vm
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
