pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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