I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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