I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
