I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
