The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
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he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize