she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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