jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
