I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
