why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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