when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
