This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
