She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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