Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
