OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
