whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
