And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
