he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
