It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
