Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
