I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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