i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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