how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize