I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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